Parenting skills: Reflecting feelings

The first skill I teach parents in our play therapy update sessions is how to reflect their child’s feelings. Why? Because it is truly one of the best ways to support your child’s emotional development, strengthen your bond, and help them learn to understand and manage their own emotions.

Below are 6 reasons to start reflecting your child’s feelings.

For tips and a script on how to do it, download my free PDF on Reflecting Feelings.

1. builds emotional awareness

When parents reflect feelings (e.g., “You seem really sad about that”), children learn to identify and name their emotions. This is crucial for developing emotional intelligence.

2. helps kids feel understood

When a child feels heard and seen, they feel valued and secure. Reflecting their feelings shows empathy and validates their experience, even if you don’t agree with the behaviour.

3. models healthy emotional expression

By calmly naming and reflecting emotions, you model how to acknowledge feelings without judgment or escalation. This sets an example for how children can respond to their own and others' emotions.

4. supports regulation and reduces meltdowns

When emotions are reflected accurately, children often feel calmer and more regulated. They don’t need to "shout louder" with their behaviour to be understood.

5. improves communication and trust

Consistent emotional reflection fosters open communication. Children are more likely to talk about their feelings if they know you will respond with understanding rather than dismissal.

6. encourages problem solving

Once emotions are named and validated, children are better able to think clearly and engage in problem solving. Emotional reflection can be the first step toward finding a solution together.

In short, reflecting feelings helps children feel safe, learn about emotions, and grow into emotionally resilient adults.